A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream
FEAR & LOATHING AT THE SPHERE
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Three Men · One Round Room · Four Drugstores Between Here and There
This Message Will Self-Destruct
April 23 — 26, 2026 · Las Vegas, Nevada
The Expedition Roster
"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline..."
Dr. Gonzo
Attorney · Samoan
Raoul Duke
Sports Desk · Armed
The Accountant
Head of Tax Compliance
Day One · Arrival
Thursday, April 23 — "We were somewhere around Barstow..."
i.
Thursday · April 23
2:30 PMCurbside reunion at VdaraEmbraces shall last no longer than 4 seconds. The Accountant will be timing.
3:00 PMCheck-in · Vdara Hotel & SpaConfirmation numbers have been color-coded and laminated.
3:45 PMMandatory Hydration Ritual™Two (2) Liquid I.V.s. This is not a suggestion. Page McConnell would want this.
4:30 PMGroup stretching & lower-back check-inDr. Gonzo to lead. Bring your own foam roller.
5:30 PMPre-show dinner — light, sensible carbohydratesNo one is "just getting the steak." We have a 3-hour standing event.
6:30 PM🍦 Ice Cream SessionSacred. Non-negotiable. Two scoops minimum. Fishman would weep.
6:45 PMRideshare to Sphere · 255 Sands AveSurge pricing has been pre-approved by The Accountant.
7:00 PMDoors open · Lot wandering & merch reconnaissanceRaoul Duke is permitted exactly one (1) tour shirt.
8:00 PM★ PHISH · NIGHT ONE ★Set I, setbreak (~9:30), Set II, encore. Eyes up. The room is the show.
11:30 PMComedown protocol & debriefStatistical analysis of any potential Tweezer Reprise will commence.
12:30 AMLights outSuggested. Not enforced. Icculus would understand.
"We've never repeated a set and we didn't want to start now." — Trey Anastasio (Translation: bring stamina.)
Day Two · The Middle Night
Friday, April 24 — "The Vibration of Life"
ii.
Friday · April 24
9:00 AMSoft wake · individual reflectionNo one speaks until the second coffee. House rule.
10:30 AMBottomless brunch (90-minute cap)The Accountant has run the math on the mimosa package. It pencils.
12:30 PMPool time · SPF 50 mandatoryThis is a sun-aware itinerary. We are not 24 anymore.
3:00 PMOptional nap windowRaoul Duke is required, not optional.
5:00 PMSetlist speculation hourOpen phish.net. Argue about Reba. We haven't had a proper Reba in too long.
6:30 PMDinner — pre-loaded with electrolytesDonuts may be discussed but not consumed. Save room.
7:30 PM🍦 Ice Cream SessionNight two flavor rotation. The Accountant is tracking flavors in a spreadsheet.
8:00 PM★ PHISH · NIGHT TWO ★Statistically the most likely "Harry Hood" night per Dr. Gonzo's model.
11:45 PMLate-night room hangOne (1) bootleg may be played. The Accountant chooses.
Day Three · The Edge
Saturday, April 25 — "Buy the ticket, take the ride."
iii.
Saturday · April 25
9:30 AMThe Famous Mockingbird BrunchDress code: clean t-shirt. We're going to try.
11:30 AMWalking constitutional along the StripHydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate. Wilson would scold us otherwise.
1:30 PMFree time — independent explorationApproved: bookstores, the Bellagio fountains, Pinball Hall of Fame. Discouraged: roulette, sportsbook, the American Dream.
4:00 PMGroup regrouping & vibe checkIf you've lost the convertible, now is the time to mention it.
5:30 PMThe Last SupperSteak permitted tonight. You've earned it. Gamehendge approves.
7:00 PM🍦 Ice Cream Session — Finale EditionThree scoops authorized. We are professionals.
8:00 PM★ PHISH · NIGHT THREE — FINALE *The Big One. Possible Fluffhead. Possible 20-minute YEM. Possible tears.
12:00 AMFinal debrief & ceremonial setlist printingThe Accountant brought the portable printer. Of course he did.
* special guest appearance — identity classified, instrument unknown, sit-in unconfirmed but heavily rumored. trust nothing. believe everything.
Day Four · Extraction
Sunday, April 26 — "The bats are leaving the desert."
iv.
Sunday · April 26
9:00 AMFinal group breakfastEggs. Toast. Quiet reflection. No one mentions Monday.
10:30 AMPack-up & room sweepCheck under beds for: chargers, dignity, that one tour shirt.
11:00 AMVdara checkout · sharpLate checkout fees are not in the budget. — The Accountant
11:30 AMCurbside hugs · 4-second maximumUntil next time. The bats are leaving the desert.
The Inventory
"No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind."
Reading glasses (×2 — you'll lose one)
Lumbar support cushion
Liquid I.V. packets (10+)
Sensible walking shoes
Earplugs (you're almost 40)
Phone charger + backup
Sunscreen (SPF 50)
One (1) tasteful Phish shirt
Cash for merch line
Magnesium for sleep
A printed copy of this itinerary
Whatever Dr. Gonzo is bringing
The Code
What happens at the Sphere stays at the Sphere. (Except setlists. Those go in the group chat immediately.)
No phones during Set II. Eyes on the dome.
The Accountant has final say on all dinner reservations and Venmo splits.
Raoul Duke is not permitted to rent a convertible. We discussed this.
Anyone humming "Wilson" at brunch owes the table a round.
If a Tweezer is opened, it must be closed by Sunday. No exceptions.
Bedtime is whenever, but breakfast is at 9.
Group photo before each show. Non-negotiable.
"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." — Samuel Johnson, via Dr. Gonzo, at 2 a.m. in the Vdara elevator